Square one comes full circle.

What the fuck do I do now?

Everything I was

Everything I wanted to be

Everything I was proud of

Gone.

My confidence?

Disappeared.

My days are less exciting than before.

My perfect summer has ended.

I am dawdling about in a sea of ugly consistency.

I’m floating meanderingly in a fucking ocean of “I don’t know what do you want to do today.”

…

I’ve stopped living.

I have forgotten who I am,

And it’s no surprise to me that it’s you who brought me back to center.

I feel like this is a sign of who a real friend is.

Maybe I’m being stupid for depending on someone again, slash even more.

Maybe I am an  idiot for thinking through this shit too much. Again.

Maybe you are a giant fucking douche for leaving me be for so long.

That you are an asshole who just couldn’t fucking answer my messages; my attempts to reach out to you.

But maybe this is my chance to learn that I needed that long then to understand now what I was doing wrong.

Maybe this time I won’t make the same mistake again.

I think it’s time I relearn how to live.

And this time the memories will be just as sweet.